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How I know it’s okay to stop making your kids eat kale…

How I know it's okay to stop making your kids eat kale... by Keri Kettle

Can we let ourselves off the “good mom/bad mom” hook?  Can we trust that we can be really good moms without wearing ourselves out – running through our day and then falling into bed exhausted and burnt out every night?  Can we believe that it’s safe to not spend every moment trying to ward off the disaster trending at the moment?  Can we even consider that maybe having a relaxing, enjoyable dinner with our kids is just as valuable as spending the entire meal begging them to take another bite of their vegetables?

I know a very successful attorney who eats like a picky 5 year old.  I have had business lunches with her, during which she pretty much ate only white food.  She has told me that she doesn’t really care for fruits and vegetables (!!!). My crunchy, health-nut mama brain nearly exploded.  This woman isn’t overweight and she isn’t in poor health.  She is happy and intelligent and overall a successful adult by pretty much every measure.  In case you are thinking, “oh, but it will catch up to her one day!” – she is in her 60’s with thick, luscious hair, beautiful skin and sparkling eyes.

So maybe those things that you think you HAVE to do or else you are the shittiest mom ever, aren’t worth exhausting yourself over.  I’m not suggesting that you should switch from serving kale salads to slamming giant bowls of Fruit Loops on the table for dinner every night.  But if you find yourself chasing a child around the house with a Brussels sprout, maybe it would be okay to step away from the cabbage family and let yourself off the hook for tossing baby carrots on their plate (again).

So here is your homework for taking an inventory of how you might be spending a LOT of energy and anxiety for very little actual benefit to your pesky little bundles of joy and foot odor:

What are your biggest fears for your kid(s)?  Write them down.

What are your biggest hopes and dreams for your kid(s)?  Write them down.

For the next twenty-four hours, notice what you spend the most time doing as a parent.  Where do you spend your parenting energy?  Write that down.

Now look at these three lists.  Do they match?  Are the places you are spending the most energy connected to the fears list or the dreams list?

Want to keep going?  Want to put the mojo back in your motherhood?  Go here and learn more.

When your kid isn’t like the other kids…

When your kid isn't like the other kids... by Keri Kettle

When the prom pictures and the graduation photos start showing up on FaceBook, I get a little twinge in my stomach.  My girl won’t be going to prom.  She could go to the high school graduation at her independent study high school program but she won’t.  I am still trying to talk her in to […]

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One day it just happens….

One day it just happens.... by Keri Kettle

For years my kids were not friends.  My daughter’s standard line was, “my little brother ruined my life.” I remember the short drive from school to our house, a maximum of fifteen minutes if we caught every red light, as a poking, whining, screaming descent in to hell every, freaking day.  Why couldn’t they just […]

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Bringing back the 70’s summer…

Bringing back the 70's summer... by Keri Kettle

This was taken in Mazatlán, Mexico around 1976 when I was about 5.  We used to camp on the beach here in the summer because my mom was a teacher and it was cheaper to live in Mexico while she was off work for the summer.  We had no television or phone, handheld electronics didn’t […]

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How to find your kindreds…

How to find your kindreds... by Keri Kettle

I have often told new moms that the best way to find other parents who might be your friends is to make an inappropriate joke about drinking while parenting, and see who laughs.  If you crack a joke about slipping some rum in your coffee at the playground and the mom next to you raises […]

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