I’m in the midst of a six month training program to learn to sit with the dying, the sick, the grieving and those that are just going through one of those times in life when it feels like your whole world has unraveled. In many ways, I’ve been training for this for years as I’ve continued my education in my work as a family and elder law mediator. For reasons I don’t claim to fully understand, I often feel called to learn more to help walk folks through the more difficult phases of life and I love nothing more than also being there when they come out of muck and they are ready to dance again. The holidays can be particularly challenging for those that have only recently crawled out of the shit ditch.
The holidays came up fast and furious this year, as they often do. Perhaps because I’m in the middle of this training, I’m noticing how many people aren’t feeling ready to jingle all the way from Halloween to New Year’s. I get it, I’ve been there, too.
What I want you to know is that it’s okay to not want a bright and shiny holiday season. It’s okay to want a quieter, more low-key path through the tinsel and glitter.
It’s also okay to want the full shebang with a thousand lights and Christmas tunes blaring since July. There is nothing wrong with you for wanting to hang the wreath on your car and to be there at dawn with the Black Friday shoppers.
There is space for every kind of celebration. The loud and boisterous or the sacred silence.
All I ask is this – have the holidays YOU want to have, not the ones you think you SHOULD have. The only celebration that rings false is the one that isn’t a true reflection of where your heart is right now.
Joyfully bake the cookies or don’t bake them at all. Wrap those gifts with love or skip the shopping this year. Choose your own adventure.
The only rule is to be true.