Making space for nothing…

I picked up my husband at the train station in Paris.  He flew in a week after me.  I had spent a week with the kids, taking in all of the sights of Paris.  The kids were now off on an adventure with grandma.  We had ten days of just us. We made our way […]

How I know it’s okay to stop making your kids eat kale…

Can we let ourselves off the “good mom/bad mom” hook?  Can we trust that we can be really good moms without wearing ourselves out – running through our day and then falling into bed exhausted and burnt out every night?  Can we believe that it’s safe to not spend every moment trying to ward off […]

When your kid isn’t like the other kids…

When the prom pictures and the graduation photos start showing up on FaceBook, I get a little twinge in my stomach.  My girl won’t be going to prom.  She could go to the high school graduation at her independent study high school program but she won’t.  I am still trying to talk her in to […]

Bringing back the 70’s summer…

This was taken in Mazatlán, Mexico around 1976 when I was about 5.  We used to camp on the beach here in the summer because my mom was a teacher and it was cheaper to live in Mexico while she was off work for the summer.  We had no television or phone, handheld electronics didn’t […]

How to find your kindreds…

I have often told new moms that the best way to find other parents who might be your friends is to make an inappropriate joke about drinking while parenting, and see who laughs.  If you crack a joke about slipping some rum in your coffee at the playground and the mom next to you raises […]

What the parenting books don’t tell you…

Before the baby comes you read Spock or Brazelton or What To Be Terrified of When You Are Expecting… There were moments when my teen was a toddler and her tantrums seemed like they would never end, I would sit outside her bedroom door and read Becky Bailey’s There Has To Be A Better Way. […]

The secret to getting enough alone time…

Most women need some time alone.  Some of us (like me) need a LOT of time alone.  I’m not an introvert but I definitely need quiet time, completely by myself, in order to avoid being cranky and pissy. The thing is that it is a very rare day that your partner or your kids say […]

When the soup is enough…

When your friend gets the terrifying diagnosis, or her heart just got broken, or her kid is making choices that make her wonder what happened to the sweet, little boy that used to give her sloppy wet toddler kisses on her knees… Sometimes all you can do is show up with some soup. You didn’t […]

The Upside of Constant Change

It was raining yesterday.  Today I was sweating as the temperature hit the 80’s in my un-air-conditioned house.  The weather changes every few days where I live and I love it. I grew up in a place where Winter started a bit before Halloween, settled in and was still a dirty, slushy mess when Easter […]

The color trick that can make you happier…

If you just found out your partner is cheating, or you got the diagnosis no one wants to get, or your kid is making choices that break your heart, you are not going to want to choose pleasure.  If your mind is going through all of this crappy reality and I say, “But look, a […]