A letter to the woman who is “not unhappy”


Hello love,

When asked if you are happy, you said, “I am not…unhappy?” and there was that question at the end.  Like you aren’t sure if it’s okay to not be happy.  So, let’s start with acknowledging that it’s okay not to be happy all the time.

Our culture puts so much pressure on us to be happy.  Plus all those people posting pictures on Facebook and Instagram of their beautiful food and happy families (and I’m totally guilt of being one of “those people”, I know) at the lake or the beach or the new, cool spot for drinks Downtown.  Yeah, it can make you feel like you aren’t “happy” enough.  Like your happy doesn’t quite measure up.

Let’s just start with today doesn’t totally suck.  There have absolutely been worse days.  But there have certainly been better, a while ago, maybe you can’t quite remember what really, truly, happy feels like.  Can you get to mildly content?  Yes, mildly content is pretty close to “not unhappy”.  But, I’m going to push you a bit here, if you want to walk down that road with me for a while.

Because “not unhappy” is not what I want for you.  When you describe how you feel by what it’s not, that is less than what you deserve.  You deserve delicious.  You deserve luscious.  Damn it, you deserve happy.  Even if it’s not every day, it can be something on the table this week – or at least this month.  Because less than that suggests you have unplugged – I hope you aren’t offended if I say that maybe you have laid on some armor to protect yourself from feeling too much.  I know how safe that feels because I have done it, too.  But staying safe never got me to awesome and I want awesomeness for you.

When you lay down your armor, it hurts like hell.  For a while.  And then the waves of joy come.  But you won’t ever feel the waves while you are wearing the armor.  It’s a choice, feel the pain – feel the joy.  Numb the pain, don’t feel the joy  – keep your armor on and you get to live a life that is “not…unhappy”.

I have no judgment for you if you choose to numb the pain and live a life that is numbed to joy and to pain.  But if you are wondering how to get from “not…unhappy” to joy, I’ve walked that path and I’ll walk it again.  Together, with you, hand in hand we step into the fire.

The one thing I know for sure is that the journey has a kick ass ending.  There might not be unicorns and rainbows, but there will be bubbles.  And red balloons that let you know you’ve arrived at the place you worked so hard to get to.  Are you ready to step forward into joy after difficult times?  Hit Reply and tell me more.  I’m listening.





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