Where to find your pockets of Joy…

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“I have yet to find the pocket that helps me deal with losing Susan”

I found this message written at the end of a book I picked up at a used bookstore.  In this book (The Financial Lives of Poets by Jess Walter), there is a story of an impoverished family getting on a bus in winter, the mom is berating her young son for losing his mitten, telling him that they can’t afford to replace it.  The little boy looks up smiling and says, “It’s okay, mom, I have pockets!”.  The author uses this story as a metaphor, I don’t want to ruin the book for you but by the end of the novel the main character has suffered significant loss but he comes to acknowledge that he still has pockets – places in his life where things are okay.

I wonder about the person who not only thought that they had not “found the right pocket” but also chose to write this boldly in a book and then pass it off to the used bookstore for re-sale.  This must be a story that he/she not only holds tightly but wants other people to know about.  This story of waiting for the right pocket must be a deeply held belief.

And yet, I think this person completely misses the point.  Because you will never “find the right pocket” to end your grief.  What allows you to move past grief is a genuine belief that you will get through the grief to something less painful.  That is what I believe authentic hope is.  Hope doesn’t arrive at your doorstep like a shiny, new thing with a bow.  Hope isn’t something you can search the ends of the globe for and eventually find.  Hope certainly can’t be given to you by somebody else – even if you scrawl your grief on your forehead for everyone to read and pity you for.

When life unravels, the grief is the fog that makes it hard to see all the beauty and joy of life.

The kind of hope that gets you through difficult times, the kind that helps you to see through the fog, is not given to you or found.  It is the joy of awakening to the truth that everything you need is already within you, waiting for you to notice that it has been there all along.

071114bI have opened a new private Facebook Group called Untamed Women – this is a place that I post articles, quotes and books that I believe help us to find our pockets of joy (and I encourage the incredible tribe of women that are gathered there to do the same).

If you are a woman embracing change and choosing more of what you love – you’ll love Untamed.

If you choose to live a life you love, if you choose to live untamed – you’ll delight in Untamed.

If you are going through something difficult and just want to see something to make you smile in your feed – Untamed was created just for you.

Click here to join us.

Please share your thoughts.

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