Getting out of the shit ditch…

Getting out of the shit ditch... by Keri Kettle

You don’t have to go it alone.

You don’t have to suck it up or power through.  If you need to melt in to the couch and snuggle with your partner, your kid or your dog or a pint of ice cream- it does not mean you are weak.

It takes a lot of courage to call a friend and say, “I need to talk, can we meet for coffee?”  And then even more courage to actually say out loud the words that are sitting on your heart like an anchor.  And then crazy, pride be damned, raw courage to ask that person for what you truly need.

You might not be able to do it the first time.  You might start with telling about the things that kinda suck – but find yourself reassuring the person that you need reassurance from, that you are “doing okay” and don’t REALLY need anything. You can handle it.  You got this.   You don’t want to bother everyone with your mess.

You might not be able to do it the second time.  You might start to ask, but the tears come, and you make up some reason in your head why you aren’t going to ask right now.  Then you are sobbing alone in your car or your kitchen because that song came on that says the words you aren’t saying.

The really, really brave step is the one that comes next.  The one where you ask for what you need – someone to help you organize your finances, someone to watch your kids for a few hours, someone to sit with you at the lawyer’s office or the courthouse or the hospital.

That last step is the one that opens the door.  It’s the one that gets you a rope you can grab on to and start to climb up out of the shit ditch of despair.  You can slog a long way through that shit ditch on your own, singing along to sad songs.  Or you can holler, “anyone got a rope?” and be surprised at how many are thrown down your way.

Comments

  1. Ohhhh-this is something so hard for me to do! The more i muddle through the more i am determined to be self reliaNt-to avoid judgement or pity or worse, apathy. Experience has taught me not to reach out (burned, betrayed) but this is a good reminder that there really are good folks out there who will heLp and may even come from an unexpected source. Thanks for this! (Ps i promise i’m not yellIng at you but can’t get the all caps to go away 😉 )

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