The secret to being adored by men…

The secret to being adored by men... by Keri Kettle

We all know that woman.  The one that is always disappointed and unhappy with what she gets.  The one that rolls her eyes.  The one that rants.  The one that is SO upset by this or that or…everything.

Most of us have been that woman ourselves at least some of the time.

No, I’m not saying you have to pretend to be happy all of the time to be adored by men.  That would be annoying and gross.

I AM saying that no one really wants to shower love and affection on someone that is impossible to please.  What’s the point in trying if she is impossible to please?

The secret truth about men is that they truly want to please us.  Of course, there are selfish turd-men (and turd-women) that only want to be catered to but let’s just leave them alone and not bother trying to be adored by someone who isn’t adorable themselves.

Do you want to be deeply cherished and adored?  

Do you want to be loved beyond measure?

Make it possible to please you.

It’s that simple and that difficult.  Because you can’t be delighted if you don’t know what delights you.  You can’t choose pleasure if you don’t know what pleases you.

Being adored starts with you.  No one can please you if you don’t allow yourself to receive pleasure.

When I was single, so many of the single women I knew talked about how they met such awful men.  They were convinced that most men were just jerks trying to get laid.  I didn’t have that experience at all.  I met so many decent, well-intended men that seemed to be making a huge effort to please me.  If I mentioned I liked hiking, they planned a romantic waterfall hike with a specially-prepared picnic.  If I mentioned I like red wine, they showed up with a special bottle.

The fairytale says we will have to kiss a lot of ugly, wart-y frogs and then Prince Charming rides up on his white stallion (that’s how we know he is perfect) and sweeps us off to the castle.

Real-life dating is more like hanging out with a lot of princes, even a king or two, and figuring out which one is up for traveling to the same far-off, magical places that you want to go.  It’s not searching for a needle in a haystack, it is sifting through the needles, looking for the particular one you need to stitch together the life you want.

I could give you more cheesy metaphors but let me just say this as plainly as I can.  People are generally good.  Men are generally good.  If you want to be adored by men, let them make you happy.  And then say thank you.

It’s that simple and that difficult.

If you are looking for a guide through the tricky terrain of dating after divorce, I have put together a special Valentine’s Matchmaking Package of one-on-one coaching at a hugely discounted price, just for you.  There are only 6 spots and registration opens at Noon Pacific Time on February 14.  Ready to make this the last Valentine’s Day you spend alone?  Go here to claim your spot before they are all gone.

Please share your thoughts.