Making hard choices while things are falling apart…

Making hard choices while things are falling apart... by Keri Kettle

Sometimes the future doesn’t look bright.  Sometimes you find yourself trying to keep your eyes on the horizon and all you can see is a brick wall.  Sometimes there is no one who can tell you what the “right” thing to do is.

One of the hardest things I do as a divorce mediator, is helping people make hard choices while everything is falling apart.  How do you decide when you are an emotional wreck?  How can you be sure that you are making good choices when the future is so uncertain?

I can’t, and I won’t, tell people what they “should” do.  But that doesn’t mean I haven’t learned what to ask to help people in difficult times make good choices.

Where do you want to be in five years?

When our choices are guided by where we want to go instead of the crap hole we are wading through, we make better choices.  Knowing you are headed toward a life that you want instead of feeling like every choice is just a reaction to circumstances you wish you weren’t in, not only feels better but it also gets you closer to the life that want.

So maybe today you aren’t wading through a crap hole (lucky soul), but you might still be faced with tough choices.  Close your eyes, imagine the life you want five years from now.  What small step can you take to get there?  What small pleasure can you choose today that moves you closer to living a life you love?

Show me your pleasure.  Post on Instagram with the hashtag #ichoosepleasure – maybe you will inspire someone to take that small step toward their own good life.  I’ll be looking for you there.



  1. Oh, dear girl. Thank you for this.
    I will use your hashtag today – and everyday.
    Just to share with you, today I am going to a sunflower farm. Fields and fields of sunflowers at dusk.

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